Monday, April 20, 2015

To the Girl without a Prom date:

It is that time of year again when the trees are starting to spurt new buds, the perennials are poking green tips out of the ground and the trees are filled with chirping birds--  Spring. It is a wonderful time!  Except if you are a teenage girl who has yet to be asked to prom.

The prom experience has taken on a life of its own.  There are prom dress shows (like bridal shows)  that showcase the latest fashion.  Social Media has one-upped itself with photo after photo of "Promposals" (excuse me while I puke a little in my mouth) and the craziness that it stirs up is overwhelming for me, a 40 year old woman.  I can not imagine the range of emotions it must create in an unasked girl.  For the young men, the anxiety that the rampant "Promposal" trend must induce would be enough to make any hesitant or shy guy just forgo asking anyone.  Rejection is hard enough... Rejection after you have designed and executed  a unique and creative "Promposal" would be humiliating.

To those who have dates, go and have fun! It is a great event, that you get to look and feel beautiful for, but it is a DANCE.  Maybe a nice supper too if you are lucky.  But it is not a mini wedding, it is not a commitment ceremony, it is fun! Be safe and have a great time! (and wear those new shoes a bit before that night or your feet will hate you.)And be safe!

Now to the girl who is still waiting to be asked.  It sucks.  It hurts.  And you know what? It is in no way ANY REFLECTION OF YOUR DATE-ABILITY OR ATTRACTIVENESS!  My guess is you are probably a girl who falls into a few of the following characteristics: shy, independent, strong, outspoken, smart and or having an old soul.

Girls with these fantastic characteristics can not be easily put in a box.  Guys (not men) are threatened by these girls.  They are not sure what to do with them.  But please have no fear and do not change who you are.  There are men out there who will cherish these qualities.  They will appreciate your strength and independence.  They will look with awe at your ability to process things around them from a point a view that your old soul allows you to have.  They will know that you are not actually all that shy, but rather, quiet, and when you do speak it is poignant, deep and/or absolutely brilliantly hysterical.  Please do not let the lack of invitation to this one event let you think, for one moment, you are not desirable or worthy of a date.  You are beautiful, and smart, and kind and you will go on to do amazing things. Trust me on this.

I'll let you in on a little secret... those beautiful dresses? Yes, they are gorgeous, and mostly made in China, and made cheaply and the crystals fall off and the zippers pop and the bedazzling was most likely sewn on by a child. And since you are a compassionate person, with a worldly view, you don't want part of that anyway, right? Well, I know, I want a pretty dress too... even at 40, I do... but take that upwards of $400-$800 that you would spend on a dress.. (actually you only need half of that), and go buy yourself a great jacket or pair of boots that will take you through the remainder of high school.  Something that will take you through some amazing ass-kicking times and tears and rejections and joy and it will have its' own story.

But you, the unasked girl, you are going to be fine. Actually AMAZING.  And to the boys who can't recognize these girls... don't say I didn't warn you when your 10 year reunion rolls around. 




6 comments:

  1. Yet another great blog, you my dear, are right on!

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  2. I love this. LOVE this! Although I had a date for my senior prom (I asked) and I went to my junior prom with a group of friends, I was always the "weird" independent girl that boys tended to stay away from. It can be a hard road to walk, especially when it feels like you walk it alone. In the end, though, it makes you stronger!

    Thank you for sharing with us at #MommyMeetupMondays!

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  3. Exactly. The social media pressure on kids these days is horrifying.

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  4. I love this. There is such an emphasis on coupling up for prom and it's unnecessary. And with social media, I can only imagine it is so much worse now than it was in my day. How awesome of you to think of this girl. Thank you for sharing at #MommyMeetUpMondays.

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